Day 107
Fresh Start_107: Pondering
I was going to sit down
and write a nice piece today on the Winter Meetings and everything that has
gone down and a couple predictions I have, but that isn’t just how today worked
out. It’s the week before finals and it is the start of hell for me for the
next two weeks. I know and am prepared for what is ahead, but there are bumps
along the way, a ton of insecurities, wondering how you are going to do on
finals. Some of them I am ready and some I’m clinging on and studying my brain
out to try not to fail and get a decent grade on. That point makes my mind
wonder what failing truly means to me. I’ve heard the expression “you don’t
fail, you just learn”, but I don’t know if that’s good enough. You learn from
something if it’s a real life situation and you fail sure, but a class, I’m not
too sure on. You can fail by just not going (which doesn’t make any sense, you’re
paying to go to college; show up) but you can fail by not getting the material.
At some point after all the tutoring and help from friends or teachers, it’s on
you. If you don’t show up and get a bad grade, you fail, and I’m having a tough
time taking that. I am in a similar situation in one of my classes and I can’t
fail the final. I’ll do my best and study until I pass out every night until
the test, but if I fail, how do I swallow the pill of failing and facing my
parents, showing them the “F” when the grades come home? Failing isn’t fun for
anybody, especially if you gave it all you had. I don’t know what I’ll do if I fail
that test, but I guess I’ll see what happens.
I’m writing this instead
of what I originally had planned because of how the day turned out, and how
tired I am. Today hit me like a ton of bricks and I wasn’t expected to be this
tired. So I apologize for the lack luster content today, I’ll study and rest up
and bring you guys a better column tomorrow. I’ll also include a great
motivational video in this article so you can check that out if you too are
enduring finals, or if you just need a midweek pick me up!
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